I've been dragging myself along so far, and and for so long that I've lost sense of who I was and what I wanted in life. 

I know now that I'm just a very faint shadow of my past self.

I want to put myself back together, but there's just too many pieces scattered around, and I'm so tired.

And that feeling of tiredness.  I don't really know when it began, or when it'll stop, but I think it's turning heavy, and I can feel it getting bigger and bigger.  Like a mountain, perhaps.  A mountain no one can see, and I'm shouldering it.

An architect told me that I should complete something, or do something that will give me a sense of relief or contentment.  A very simple answer, but the execution itself is hard.  The flesh is weak.



The mind itself is a mystery.

It wanders off to a lot of places and sees a lot of things it shouldn't have.

I feel numb.