Merry Christmas, my constant readers. I'm sure y'all will have a nice year ahead of you.

Labels: Angel of Grief, Christmas

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

http://blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

http://blogthings.com/howdopeopleseeyouquiz/

What kind of weather I am:

You Are Wind

Strong and overpowering A force to be reckoned with, no one dares cross you You have the power to change everything around you You are best known for: your wrath Your dominant state: commanding

http://blogthings.com/whattypeofweatherareyouquiz/

How powerful I am:

Your Power Level is: 86%

You have all the tools you need to be a success - both professionally and personally. You'll probably go beyond reaching your goals. You'll change the world (at least a little).

http://blogthings.com/howpowerfulareyouquiz/

http://blogthings.com/howdopeopleseeyouquiz/

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

You Are 34% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

Your Dosha is Pitta

You have a quick mind, a gift for persuasion, and a sharp sense of humor. You have both the drive and people skills to be a very successful leader. Argumentative and a bit stubborn, you have been known to be a little too set in your ways. But while you may be biased toward your own point of view, you are always honest, fair, and ethical. With friends: You are outgoing and open to anyone who might want to talk to you In love: You are picky but passionate To achieve more balance: Be less judgmental of those around you, and take cool walks in the moonlight.

You've Experienced 24% of Life

You have the life experience of someone in their early 20s. You've seen some of what life has to offer - but you have a long ways to go.

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead... But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself. You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

You Are 52% Cynical

Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist. You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.

You Are Rogue

You're reluctantly special. In fact, you long to be normal. You consider your powers to be a curse, and something you can't control. Powers: absorbing other people's memories and abilities, weakening and killing people with your touch

You Are 80% Psychic

You are so very psychic. But you already predicted that, didn't you? You have "the gift" - and you use it daily to connect with others. You're very tapped into the world around you... Just make sure to use your powers for good!

You Are Bold And Brave

But daring? Not usually? You tend to like to make calculated risks. So while you may not be base jumping any time soon... You are up for whatever's new and (a little) exciting!

You are 60% Cancer

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody. And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situations, you seem selfish and moody.

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

You Are 78% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

You Are 80% Pure

You're so innocent, it's almost like you're not human. Taking this test is probably the naughtiest thing you've done in a while!

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,204,500

Labels: blogthings

The Chair

A play by Hatta Azad Khan

Translated from Bahasa Melayu by:

Jacob Tan

The cast:

Srisegala: a wise human who obtained the comforts of a chair and the enchantments of a gong.

Putra: the one who challenged against all the comforts and the enchantments of Srisegala.

Masayu: Putra’s wife

Main Tuta: main player of the gong and drum. Right hand adviser of Srisegala.

Tuta I, II and III: followers (obedient slaves) of Srisegala.

Hero I, II and III: hot blooded young warriors.

Location and timeline: it can be done anywhere and anytime.

Stage and sets: Arena theater. Set consists of a multi tiered podium with steps reaching up. At the top of the podium, a swiveling executive chair is placed. Behind the chair a gong will be hung.

Darkness. The gong reverberates once and spotlight I will be aimed at the chair on top of the podium. The chair was spinning slowly (it was spun before the lights were turned on). Darkness.

The gong was sounded once again-the set was lit. Three Tutas entered. Their necks were tied with monkey chains. The ends of these chains were held by the Main Tuta who followed close from behind. The three Tutas were scouring and sniffing the surroundings. They stared at the audience for a while. And with sure expressions on their faces they nodded to themselves. The Main Tuta pulled the three of them away.

Darkness descends.

The gong was struck once again, this time accompanied by the sound of kompangs( TR: a kind of Malay drum). The stage is lit: the three Tutas entered. Each one of them was beating a kompang. Their necks were still chained and held by the Main Tuta who followed close behind. The Main Tuta was carrying a drum. Srisegala walked into the stage behind the Main Tuta. They stopped in front of the podium. The noise of the kompangs ceased. The Tutas place themselves at the steps of the podium. The Main Tuta brought Srisegala to the top of the podium and sat on the chair. The Main Tuta stood at his back.

The gong was sounded once again by the Main Tuta.

Tuta I: (Got up and moved to a corner). He had sat on a chair for a long time. It is a broad expanse of time that cannot be counted by fingers and toes. He sat there and took control of the sounds of a gong. He is the one who owns all the comforts and magic of this Earth.

Tuta II: (Got up and move to an opposite corner). And we are not just his slaves. We are just showing an undivided loyalty to him. We will show him loyalty until the day he became cold and stiff corpse.

Hero I: (Entered suddenly). This is because they were given a big salary. There is also a high personal allowance on this age of inflation. (Exited quickly).

Tuta III: Shush...Listen! He wants to say something.

Srisegala: (Softly). Today I will explain to you the comforts of a chair and the enchantments of a gong. Let the games begin.

The gong was sounded once by the Main Tuta. He then removed the chains that bound the gong from the pillar that supported it. Tuta I stood up. The Main Tuta extended the chain that tied Tuta I’s neck. Tuta I walked forward.

Tuta I: Justice… means increasing the gap between the blind and the seeing.

The Main Tuta did the same thing to Tuta II, who also stood up and stepped forward.

Tuta II: Prosperity… means the gathering of healthy and also skinny bovines satiating themselves in a burning field of grass.

Tuta III: (Released the same way) Peace… means a shootout in a cold war using the most high tech weapons equipped with silencers so that not a bit of sound will be created.

Tuta I: Honesty…means asking and taking from the poor and repaying them with the words of thanks and praise as high as a mountain.

Tuta II: Pity…means the arrangements of local crops by stacking cucumbers at the bottom pile and putting the durians on the top of the pile.

Main Tuta: It is now made clear. That is what we named justice. That is what we called prosperity. That is the meaning of peace. And thus, that is what honesty and pity are defined.

The gong was struck once by the Main Tuta, and he gave a wry smile at that. Before the echoes of the gong fade, Hero I leaped in. The Main Tuta looked shocked. The other Tutas got up. But Srisegala just gave a sinister smile.

Hero I: It is because of what you explained: Rivers will flow upstream, and the rain will pour skywards.

Hero I made a quick getaway and was replaced by Hero II. The Main Tuta and the other Tutas exchanged awkward glances. They all looked at Srisegala ais if waiting for some command to come out. But Srisegala just continued to smile in a sinister way.

Hero II: All that can be heard here is just the sound of a gong. And no other sounds can be compared to the sounds of the gong.

Hero II made a mad dash out and Hero III leaped in. The Main Tuta and the rest of the Tutas panicked. Srisegala raised his hand and gave a signal to calm them down.

Hero III: The sound of the gong above us is a command that sometimes can mean a heavy but light punishment or a light but heavy punishment.

Hero I and II came out at once.

Hero I: How long must the sound of the gong be left to split the earth?

Srisegala clapped his hands once. The Main Tuta struck the gong once. Another Tuta played the drum. At first the drumbeats were slow, but it continued to pick up a greater speed and rhythm. The three Heroes were convulsing as if fighting an invisible force.

Their mouths opened and they tried to say something. But no words came out. The Main Tuta struck the gong again. The drumbeats stopped. The Heroes were frozen in different poses. The three Tutas leaped down. They covered the eyes and mouths of the three Heroes.

Main Tuta: Is it not just now that we have said that we want to live in peace and calm, and to discourage any sounds that might disturb us? That is why: The mouth that screams will be muted, the eyes that see will be blinded, and the hands that violates will be bound at the back? We just want to create peace and calm.

The Main Tuta played the gong and was accompanied by the music of the kompang created by the other Tutas. The music of the kompangs got louder and slower. The stage dims. Darkness.

Spotlight II: Lit upon Putra, who was kneeling in front of the podium, facing Srisegala’s direction.

Putra: (Shouting defiantly) Hah!! My eyes are not for you to be blinded. My mouth is not made to be silenced, and these hands are not made to be bound at the back.

The stage is lit: The Tutas got up and was closing in on Putra. Srisegala raised his hands

Srisegala: Wait!!... I think this young man is not just some simple actor. If he is, he would surely not be willing to act in front of us. His coming was unrequested. Was it not something that would greatly benefit us? We would be able to watch a show performed by a professional actor. Young man! Continue your show.

Putra: When I kneel here, it does not necessarily mean that I will worship you. And if I requested something it would surely not be your seat or the sound of the gong behind you. I just want to talk about you yourself as a human. It is because I know very well, that each animal that was fit to be called a human lived with its own thoughts and emotions. And he will not be separated form what is known as HUMANITY!

Srisegala: (Laughing sinisterly). Young man! It seems that you do not well remember the developments of this world. Do you know that the thoughts and emotions of a human are placed under the power of his seat? The chair is a lot smarter than me. It is just the same with the gong, as it controls anyone that came to sit in this place.

Putra: No! It is just your excuse. Since when did you give your life to a chair and a lifeless gong? You are the reason for all that’s happening here. And I know enough to say that, as long as you are here, only a few handfuls of humans will succeed in climbing the mountain and grasp the clouds. Those who indeed succeed are those of the same fur as yours. I myself and my people will only be entertained by your plays. You will bring to us a three sided world with promises that one corner will be better than the last one. I have long since known that the three sides of your world are all the same. None of the sides will be better than the rest!

Srisegala: (Laughs). What is it that you really want?

(Continues laughing)

Putra: I want you to stop laughing!

Srisegala suddenly stops. His face turned serious and he looked straight at the face of Putra.

Putra: I want this play to end this instant! I want you to come down. If you don’t, you shall see what happens then. I will raise all these people here below with my call. And when the time comes, your place won’t be anywhere up there!

Putra got up and reached for a long wooden rod that was already lying by his side. Seeing that Srisegala gave a signal to the Main Tuta. The Main Tuta struck the gong once. Tuta I and Tuta II were released from their monkey chains. They were given two wooden rods by the Main Tuta.

A fight ensued. The two Tutas were fighting against Putra. Each of them were fighting using their own rods. Suddenly, a net was released from above, trapping Putra. Putra struggled violently to break free. But he was instantly dragged by the two Tutas to Srisegala’s feet. The Main Tuta struck the drum continuously. Silence ensues.

Main Tuta: It is under the name of peace and justice that we have sacrificed our lives for. And as an appreciation for this wise fellow, he will be given the most special treatment. The net, amiably; is a blessing of immense value.

Srisegala and the Tutas welcomed the words of the Main Tuta with sinister smiles and prolonged laughter. Their laughter got slower and slower until it fades abruptly. The stage darkens slowly.

Spotlight II: Focusing on Masayu, who was standing and staring emptily above. Her hands were holding a sheathed kris.

Masayu: I still remember a cold morning from a distant past. The birds were singing melodiously. You were with me then. It is also the same on a clear evening. With skies the color of yellow and orange. You, at that time, were still with me. I flew with the singing birds. I danced with the wind swept trees. But now… now the skies won’t be yellow and bright again. The birds have ceased their song and the trees their dance. And you went away from me. The sky is now a-burning red…its heat burns the lungs. It was hot! It was burning! And I woke up from a deep slumber. But where are you now? Where?

The stage is lit. Masayu looks amazed when she saw the surroundings.

Masayu: Have I traveled far? Where am I? But!!(Saw Putra and ran up towards him) You! ...My husband! Why are you here? Putra, forgive me. I am the one who should be blamed. I forgot to give you your inherited kris. And you have lost your way.

Srisegala: (Observes Masayu for a while before looking away arrogantly). A star once fell from the sky and ended up in my hands. I have also cradled the moon before I discovered how ugly she looks. But never once a fairy had given herself up…or are you a princess from a distant heaven?

Masayu: Stop dreaming. I did not come here for you. I am here looking for my husband.

Srisegala: Ohh! This great actor is your husband?

Masayu: Release him, I beg you. Why must he be tortured like this?

Srisegala: Masayu! Your husband is a very talented man. I like talented people. Let him stay with us. He will be of great use to us in a near but distant future.

Masayu: No! You are caging him up. He cannot possibly do anything worthwhile for you. Again I implore upon your great pity…please don’t separate us

Srisegala: Masayu! You were late and very well left behind. Have you not heard of the meaning of pity?

Tuta I: (Stood up). Pity…means…

Srisegala: Enough! We do not need any reruns here. Masayu! I have given your husband a very great help here.

Tuta I: Grant that her heart be appeased.

Tuta II: Grant that her mind be calmed.

Tura III: Grant that her load be lightened.

Srisegala: So… you should be thankful to me, my dear Masayu.

Masayu: I am not yours. Don’t call me as your Masayu.

Srisegala: (laughs)Masayu!

No one can deny the possibilities of what will happen, if what was said came from a high place and was accompanied by the sound of a gong that can split the earth asunder. Masayu! Look for yourself. Your husband is in peace here.

Tuta I: He will not fight again.

Tuta II: He will not resist again.

Tuta III: He will not rage again.

Srisegala: Let him live in peace. Others shall receive the same fate if they themselves try to shatter our peace.

Masayu: I am truly thankful for all your help. I will never forget it as long as I live. But now I am begging you with my tears. Please return me my husband!

The Main Tuta whispered something to Srisegala and Srisegala responded with several nods of approval.

Srisegala: Alright, Masayu! I will grant you your wish.

The other Tutas rose up in confusion and bewilderment. Together, they shouted,

The Tutas: Srisegala!!!

Srisegala: Do not worry. Srisegala knows everything.

The Main Tuta struck the gong a few times. Srisegala clapped his hands once. The stage suddenly bereft of all light.

The resounding beats of drums followed up to the flashes of lightning that lit up and darkens. The scream of a woman can be heard. Shouts of men came next. Everything was calm again not long afterwards. Silence reigns.

A part of the stage lit up. A bluish light resembling the color of the moon flooded the set.

Srisegala and his servants smiled stiffly from their respective seats. Masayu lay half crouching under the feet of Srisegala.

Music: sorrowful (organ).

Putra (now blind) appears from behind the podium. His hands were flailing and moving everywhere.

Putra: Masayu! Where are you? Let us go home now! ...Come! Let me hold your hands! Masayu! Where are you?

Tuta I: (came close to Putra and spoke loudly while making a whispering gesture to his ears). With the fastest jet planes begotten from the advancements of science and technology, your Masayu was sent back home in a blink of an eye. She is now waiting for you at home. You can go home now, blind man.

A walking stick was dropped to the ground. The blind man (Putra) probes his immediate surroundings. His hands found the stick and he immediately groped his way out.

Music: Sorrowful (organ).

The blind man leaves the set.

Music: sorrowful and fading mingled with the music of the traditional dance Asyik. Masayu slowly moved down the podium. She performed the Gamelan dance in rhythm with the music in front of the set. Srisegala and his lackeys were entertained.

Putra enters the stage again.

Music: stops.

Masayu stopped dancing. She climbed up to the podium and sat below the feet of Srisegala.

Putra: I know that as fast as you can send her home, your hand will be even faster as you grabbed her back. Your fastest jet actually doesn’t mean a thing. I know that Masayu is still here with you.

Srisegala: You are truly wise, o’ blind man that sees with his eyes closed.

Putra: As long as I know who you are, I will still be able to see your every thought and movement, no matter how blind my eyes are.

Srisegala: All right, blind man! Just say so if she is here, even though she comes now here uninvited, and I force her not to go. You can even ask her by yourself, if you wish it.

Putra: Masayu! It is I, your husband. Let us go home.

Srisegala: (Severe or bored looking) Masayu! Give your answer to this blind man. Tell him if your love for him is as hot as the sun or as fresh as the morning dew.

Putra: Say it if this is true, Masayu! I have long known what is in your heart. For as long as you have been living with me, you have been encouraged the fiery spirit that is living in me to lift my face up to life and meet its struggles with a strength that can turn down a mountain. Say it to these people. Let them be our eyewitnesses. Tell them how much you love me.

Masayu slowly rose and got near Putra. Her hands touched Putra’s face and she stared at him with an empty expression. She returned to her place on the podium and continued to stare at him.

Masayu: Who are you? I have never heard of your voice and nor have I seen your face before. I do not know you!

Putra: (Screaming). Masayu!

The Main Tuta struck the gong again. Putra kneeled stiffly on the ground.

Music: Heart breaking and sorrowful tune that lasts for a while.

Srisegala: (Smiling sinisterly). You have seen it all for yourselves. From this day on LOVE will cease to exist. You have seen how lost the love of a wife to her husband is, and how crushed a husband’s love to his wife is. This great love was destroyed by the power of a chair and the sound of a gong that was hung behind me. That is why all must now heed my advice. If the day comes when you get to know love, give it heartily instead to a chair and try to gain dominance over a gong. Remember that the most meaningful thing in this world is your seat and the sound of a gong that was made in a high place.

The Main Tuta struck the gong again. The stage lights go out.

Spotlight II: Focusing on Putra that was sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Putra: In all my life, I have never felt the comforts of sitting on a soft cushioned chair that can spin round and round. I do not know how good it is to do that as all I have ever sat upon was the ground, cross-legged as I now am.

Spotlight I: Shining at Srisegala that was still on his chair on top of the podium. He is now spinning the chair around while giving off a proud smile.

Darkness.

Stage is relit again-Srisegala and his Tutas are stiff in their own respective positions.

Stage darkens again.

Spotlight III and IV: Beaming on the three Heroes that are sitting on the bottommost steps of the podium.

Hero I: I now believe that there is more than one way up to the top.

Hero II: Yes! There must be more.

Hero III: Now that our hands and feet are unbound, we must try it once more.

Hero I: Why don’t we ask the blind man?

Hero II: He will help us in many ways.

Hero III: Which blind man?

Hero II: The one they called Putra.

Hero III: I think that one had been in solitude for yet too long already.

Hero I: It is the solitude that had taught him a lot.

Hero III: But what can he do?

Hero II: A lot! He can do a lot of things, for he had seen too much already.

Hero III: Isn’t he blind?

Hero II: But he can still see.
Hero III: What can he see?

Hero I: Things that we cannot foresee.

Hero II: Why don’t we just ask him?

Spotlight II: Focusing at Putra that is still sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Putra: (Pointing to the audience). The people must be cured first. They are all sick. They cannot see. They are blind followers. Dreamers and such fools are they that they are even willing to watch a shoddy play like this.

Hero III: What did he say?

Hero II: Let us hear him out first.

Putra: Teach them to use the eyes that cannot be blinded if they do not want their eyes to cry later on. Don’t let them sleep with closed eyes. Make them sleep under watchfulness.

Hero III: But the scoundrel that shouldn’t live in the first place must be killed!

Putra: Let us not be so hasty. It is not such a simple matter. Last time when I was alone I lost out to them. Is that not enough of a lesson to you?

Hero II: But how are we going to do it then?

Putra: With a great windstorm and a pouring flood, everything will change. Go! Save those that you love: the Earth that you tread on and the skies that you bear on your backs.

Hero I: But! ...A pouring flood!! What about those people?

Putra: The flood will happen in the mountains, and the rain will be of different waters.

Heroes: Flood in the mountains? Flood in the mountains?? Flood in the mountains???

Hero III: (Facing the audience). Did you hear what did the blind man just said? A great flood will happen in the mountains. We will all carry the water there. We shall bring down a great rain there and the flood will wash everything away.

At once:

The stage is fully lit: The heroes attacked the Tutas. The flashing lamps can be left on or off.

The stage darkens yet again.

Sound effects:-the sound of a storm.

The voices of the Heroes hunting and fighting the Tutas can be heard.

Spotlight II: Focusing on Tuta I’s defeat under Hero I’s hands.

They are frozen under a pose of silat ( TR: Malay martial arts).

Darkness: Another scream can be heard.

Spotlight III: On Tuta II that was defeated by Hero II. They are also frozen under another silat pose.

Darkness: Screams.

Spotlight: Tuta III defeated by Hero III. They are frozen in yet another silat pose.

The stage is relit: The podium is empty.

Hero I: Where is he?

Hero III: We’ll find him!

Hero II: We’ll hunt him down. Don’t let him escape.

Darkness.

Hero I: There he goes!!

Spotlight II: Shining at Srisegala and his Main Tuta in a fleeing pose, but they are stiff and frozen.

Darkness fell again.

Hero II: Get him!

Spotlight II: Focusing on the Blind Man (Putra) who is sitting on the chair. Masayu is standing behind him.

Putra: Let him be! He won’t go too far anyway. When the time comes he’ll eventually fade away.

Masayu struck the gong once.

Spotlight II: Srisegala and The Main Tuta disappeared from sight.

Stage lamps are turned off.

Lights are lit again and the actors introduce themselves.

Fin.

Antology Patung- Patung( Anthologies of the Dolls), 1980.

Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka.

Labels: Antology Patung- Patung, Dewan Bahasa Dan Pustaka, Hatta Azad Khan, Jacob Tan, The Chair

When the high winds are sailing and the grounds are still, a desolation unlike any other desolations filled me. I know it well enough; these feelings have remained as one of the most enduring parts of my personality ever since I could remember and cherish my memories.

The feeling is quite hard to explain, and it might be too subjective to do so. But you’ll know that you have the feeling when the sky darkens and the air grew cold and still. It is the time when the chirping insects grew wary and the birds hid themselves.

You’ll know it as I have known it all these years. The feeling of it did not just creep in, like a thief in the night. It never did, and I guess that it never will. Instead, it will descend upon me like an unnoticeable and oppressing mantle, silencing my thoughts and muting my emotions. How lonely I felt during those times, how empty and helpless.

Outside my house, the people would have no doubt collected their laundry and retired to their homes. The streets would be empty of cars and people. The only thing left for me is the stillness, the silent stillness of the grass, the uneventful-ness of the suddenly non-existant wind…

But then again, everything changes…

It’s always like that.

Like they say, the only thing that never changes is that, everything changes.

I don’t know whether I want to cry or not at that statement. I really don’t know. I won’t go for half guesses or vague answers either.

Many times in my life, there are changes that came unlooked for. Some are welcome, some are not. All in whole, the whole thing is really like the rain.

It is because when it rains, you’ll never quite know when it started and when it ends.

Watching the rain comforted me so. It is like watching myself cry. If these glassy drops that fell from the sky are truly the tears of the sky, I would like them to be my tears. It’s a good thing to have when you think you want to cry, but you can’t.

I can see it quite clearly now. A soft wavy sound like the cries of sorrow and deep lamentations, little soft drops as many and as endless as one could believe.

Rain, rain, rain, eternal rain.

I am quite obsessed with you. Thou art strong, and thou art weak. Thou art limber and yet firm of will.

The inflexibility of your being will not be my vexation; the eventuality of your being will be my happiness and my everlasting sorrow.

The winds and clouds are heavy when the rain came, and the people and the still earth are waiting, waiting for the rain, whether they will it so or not.

I like the thought of rain, sweet furious rain. It is like coming home when you have none to come back to.

Labels: rain, Sandakan

Just finished my STPM and spent most of yesternight outdoors, having dinner with my classmates and teachers. Went for a little karaoke at Ultimate. Tiring, but ok.

Labels: Chan Chee Tze, Chung Fui Yee, Johnson, Lee Yee Ling, Leung Man Ting, Loo Yien Bin, Moo Mui Li