My right leg's been acting up lately. I can feel my kneecap locking up a bit after a walk or two. Must have been the weird weather. But still, it's hard to imagine that a swim injury from years back can lead on to something like this.

The cat that's been sleeping up on the cupboard is growing fat, thanks to the local neighborhood's crazy cat lady. I don't think I like the feel of that. Kept eying us from above whenever we go in and out of the house. Felt as if it wants to pounce up on us from that rickety old cupboard. Normally a Sieg Heil from either me or my brother would scare it off, but I still don't like it. Those mean green eyes that infernal creature has meant business, unfortunately.

High night, I dream, but I dream of knives. Designer knives. How quaint.

Labels: Sandakan

Honestly I didn't know at first. But considering what I've seen, I think it's quite fitting.

Labels: Sandakan, sorrow

I heard that Fong Seng's little pet project was nearing completion, and that the projected end result looked glorious. This little news brought a slight bitter taste to my mouth. Truly now!

I wonder what would he think, having to wake up everyday at the sight of that thing. Regret, anger, annoyance? Or would he feel nothing of it, having pushed every single future decision out of his hands?

Hn.

The whole thing's certainly beyond any of us now. It's no more than just a waiting game now, and with the recession hitting, I doubt that it would come any time soon.

But I wonder, if things were to happen differently, I'd probably be sailing the high seas and messing around with underage girls by now. Hehe.

Truth is, no matter what I see now, there ain't not much left of it. The magic of pansies or any other female with a makeup kit woke me up in a bad way. I've been duped way too many times already.

So, what now?

GDL, perhaps.

I can nearly see it.

Labels: Sandakan, sorrow

If I could, I would want to see her again when I go back.

It is certainly not necessary for her to know it. Just a simple look from afar would do the trick. I would know better than to do more, right?

Sigh....

I miss her. I really do.

Labels: love, Sabah, Sandakan, sorrow

20 Days, Sir...

20 more days to go before I get to go home.

If I can make it home this time around, I'll tell. I'll tell all.

Updates too, maybe.

Wait for me, all of ye out there.

Labels: Petaling Jaya, Sandakan

She died on Wednesday, and was cremated yesterday.

Hmmm...Life is so fleeting, who would have thought that it would escape us when we least suspect it?

Sleep then, as ashes you would sleep, and may you rest as you will. Peace be with you.

Labels: death, rest, RIP, Sandakan

Forgive me, for too many things have happened. I will be leaving all those that are close and dear to me soon, but already I am numb and weary even before my journey started. Faced with one of the greatest transitions of my life, I can only hope that when I can get a grip of myself again, I can truly wake up and tell, without stopping for anything trivial, and just tell everything, like I've always wanted to.

But unfortunately, some lowlife took a large dump in front of my doorstep earlier this morning. It was fortunate that the cleaning lady helped me a lot, otherwise it's going to be a long and troublesome day for me.

Labels: Petaling Jaya, Sandakan, troublemakers

IPTA(Public Institutes of Higher Learning) results came out yesterday, and to my horror, I found out that I failed to get a seat at the local universities. All of my buddies got their seats, and they'll be leaving in a week.

That means I'll have to apply for private institutions, and it'll be August before I start packing
up and leave Sandakan.

Labels: IPTA, Sandakan, university

Another notable treat I’ve managed to try out so far are the Shanghainese Dumplings of the Sandakan Mile 4 Market.

The said establishment, located at about 10 or so paces away from the Night Dai Pai, are wholly owned and operated by 2 brothers, and they probably opened their business at around 2 or 3 p.m. and closed at around 8 p. m.

The basic RM 4 platter consists of 10 savoury shallow fried dumplings, eaten together with the complementary dipping of black vinegar, asam pedas or vinegar with garlic. It is nicely packaged with a rectangular Styrofoam plate with a base of wax paper.

I’ve been trying out these things for quite some time now, and somehow, I keep coming back for more. These things can be served as a side dish for your dinner courses, or maybe just eaten wholesale as a glutton’s fancy.

For the curious, provided below is the recipe for the simple dumpling, taken and slightly modified without permission from The Culinary Art Magazine, vol. 23. The recipe provided does not reflect the true nature of the dish sold in Sandakan.

Dumpling

Ingredients:

200g pork meat (minced)

100g jiu cai (韭菜) (shredded)

10g chopped garlic

15 pieces of white dumpling skins

Method:

1. Mix pork, jiu cai, cabbage and garlic evenly.

2. Prepare and stuff the dumplings.

3. Heat up a shallow pan/wok with 5 tbsp of oil. Shallow fry until slightly brown and crispy.

Labels: Mile 4, Sandakan, 饺子

One of the finest things about living here in wretched Sandakan is the acquirement of the unwarranted street wanderers’ luck of being able to sample the finest of the fine for the lower class citizens at a slash price cut rate environment. Here I have listed down a few of the good dinner dishes I have been fortunate enough to sample, with a few observations about its ingredients. It is truly regrettable that I have not been able to take any photos of these delightful morsels.

Stir fried spinach: served in a very small platter. The greens are liberally stir fried with a generous portion of palm oil and garlic, with a few dashes of finely chopped shreds of red chilies.

Stuffed to fu: ordinary class tofu applied with the diamond cut, deeply fried at the outer side, whilst maintaining a juicy tender filling at the inside. The fillings consisted of shrimp, minced pork, shredded carrot, mushroom slices and onion pieces. It is best devoured with a dipping of hot and sour sauce.

Seafood pot: contained therein, a hot closed container of porous clay, a plethora of vegetables and seafood. I have noted an assortment of white Japanese cabbages, large black mushrooms and button mushrooms, crab fillets, chicken slices, pork bits and middle sized prawns. The broth is of acceptable taste and the amount of seafood is passable. Serves up to three or four individuals per serving.

Pork ribs glazed with cane sugar: middle sized platter. Pork ribs are cut into bite sized cubes, marinated with either plum sauce or cane sugar with bitter caramel sauce and then shallow fried. Rib meat is a bit dry, but finely textured.

Deep fried prawns with mayonnaise dressing/salad prawn: Noted several variants. Those made by Sapporo are made with a sprinkle of sesames while those of Penang House are made with a modified base dressing. The Buddy’s Hut variant emphasizes on the crispiness of the skin and the use of aromatic herbs. The night Dai Pai at mile 4, however, offers the cheapest price and the most consistent and unified taste.

Mango chicken: Happened to try this one out at Sapporo’s. Base flavouring is made out of young and sour mango slivers, ginger slices and chilli flecks. The chicken (got the breast portion) is evenly fried, but the sauce have to be reworked as the taste of ginger overwhelmed the taste of the mangoes and the chicken.

The 6 dishes mentioned above might require about RM 40-50++ at the Mile 4 night market Dai Pai. The prices for the same dishes with slight differences can be enjoyed at Buddy’s Hut (Mile 4), Penang House and Sapporo’s (both located at town) at a slightly higher price. Note that dining at Buddy’s Hut is slightly more expensive than the other three places. Please note that you’ll have to order the compulsory rice and hot tea.

Update: Buddy's Hut had since closed down and was replaced by a vegetarian restaurant.

Labels: Buddy's Hut, Dai Pai stall, food, Penang Restaurant, Sandakan, Sapporo, seafood

When the high winds are sailing and the grounds are still, a desolation unlike any other desolations filled me. I know it well enough; these feelings have remained as one of the most enduring parts of my personality ever since I could remember and cherish my memories.

The feeling is quite hard to explain, and it might be too subjective to do so. But you’ll know that you have the feeling when the sky darkens and the air grew cold and still. It is the time when the chirping insects grew wary and the birds hid themselves.

You’ll know it as I have known it all these years. The feeling of it did not just creep in, like a thief in the night. It never did, and I guess that it never will. Instead, it will descend upon me like an unnoticeable and oppressing mantle, silencing my thoughts and muting my emotions. How lonely I felt during those times, how empty and helpless.

Outside my house, the people would have no doubt collected their laundry and retired to their homes. The streets would be empty of cars and people. The only thing left for me is the stillness, the silent stillness of the grass, the uneventful-ness of the suddenly non-existant wind…

But then again, everything changes…

It’s always like that.

Like they say, the only thing that never changes is that, everything changes.

I don’t know whether I want to cry or not at that statement. I really don’t know. I won’t go for half guesses or vague answers either.

Many times in my life, there are changes that came unlooked for. Some are welcome, some are not. All in whole, the whole thing is really like the rain.

It is because when it rains, you’ll never quite know when it started and when it ends.

Watching the rain comforted me so. It is like watching myself cry. If these glassy drops that fell from the sky are truly the tears of the sky, I would like them to be my tears. It’s a good thing to have when you think you want to cry, but you can’t.

I can see it quite clearly now. A soft wavy sound like the cries of sorrow and deep lamentations, little soft drops as many and as endless as one could believe.

Rain, rain, rain, eternal rain.

I am quite obsessed with you. Thou art strong, and thou art weak. Thou art limber and yet firm of will.

The inflexibility of your being will not be my vexation; the eventuality of your being will be my happiness and my everlasting sorrow.

The winds and clouds are heavy when the rain came, and the people and the still earth are waiting, waiting for the rain, whether they will it so or not.

I like the thought of rain, sweet furious rain. It is like coming home when you have none to come back to.

Labels: rain, Sandakan