Checklist:

1.Low bone density-high risk group. Osteoporosis imminent in the next decade or two.

2.Low blood pressure-manageable but for how long?

3.Underweight-weight won't go up no matter what I eat.

4.Low blood count-as long as I don't bleed out or donate I should be fine.

5.Eyes-experiencing gradual loss of sight. Not entirely sure how to solve this one.

6.Teeth-1 upcoming operation, another repeat highly possible. Braces, some bleaching and removal of calcified matter. Structural integrity questionable due to past experience of breaking one with ease and current state of bones.

7.Skin-cholesterol deposits beneath skin a hereditary condition. No known cure aside from direct surgical excision. But it won't work, it's too widespread.

8.Hair-hair loss is also hereditary. Cannot foresee when it'll happen.

9.Chest pains-read out like the signs of oncoming heart problems. Happens once or twice a year. Long term implications unknown at the moment.

10.Possible risk of other problems-?

Solution:a very big question mark. I hope everything holds.

Labels: sorrow

The clinic called on Tuesday evening, told me to wait for yet another week.

Fine.

So for today, I opted to check up my bone density at an Anlene sponsored booth.

Out of a scale of -4 to +2, I'm right at -2.8.

Apparently it's so lame that 60+ year old Indian lady scored better than me.

The health counselor was somewhat alarmed as well, considering my age. She gave me a period of 8 years to ante up, or face some really unhealthy consequences.

That puts coffee, tea and alcohol out of the question. I never cared about coffee before, alcohol was so so, but tea was a hard one.

Eih.

Labels: sorrow

I fear I fear myself for who I am. At certain times and at certain points of my life, people I think I can get close to breaks off.

I failed.

I failed at explaining a lot of things. I failed to give closure and I failed to keep something that should have gone on a lot longer on the line. I failed a lot of people.

I realized that and I realized how wrong I am, and how weak I am to solve them all. I failed everyone.

In the end, people can only get disappointed. Then they hate me.

I know that they hate my guts. They hate me for all the things that I've said and for who I am.

Small wonder everything can't go right.

I can't go and look back either.

I'm already neck deep last year, so this year I'll be the one doing all the drowning.

It won't end, and for some reason this condition, took a few lives of it's own, likes being a transition of an unending sort.

Labels: sorrow

I wish you all a good holiday.

I heard today that they are going to pay Grandmother a visit early on the morn. Not bad, not bad.