They say that this is the time people actually have the time and mood to throw out lavish parties and organize elaborate dinners, with nice desserts set in those tiny frosted glasses as well as fireworks and good wine when the clock struck 12.

This, they say, is also the time most people will think back on what they have done for the past 12 months, as well as to reevaluate their plans for the future.

Sigh.

For me, I see nothing but setbacks and missed chances. The deterioration of the person, as well as the degeneration of qualities in many many areas.

Still so weak, still so small and ignorant. Lazy, and for the love of Jaffa a procrastinator of the most hideous kind.

How loathsome!

Labels: sorrow

I ordered all of this, thinking that I could finish it.

In the end, I found out that I couldn't.

The soup and the desert were turned into take-aways, and out of all the stuff I ordered, the take-aways turned out to be the best tasting of the lot.

Heh.

It's no fun eating alone.

Labels: Festivals

I don't know why, and I don't know how. But after trying to remember what I've been going through all these months, and out of it nothing came to mind, it's as if I don't really feel alive at all. Just going through the motions day by day.

I think....

My will died long ago. I might as well rot along with it.

I'm no better than a dead person. And shame on me, I'm still breathing and living, wasting money and other people's time.

Giuk butul!

Labels: sorrow